Obedience Chapter 14
The Guild Book One, Chapter 14
<Chapter 13 —— Chapter 15>
Want to read the beginning of this story? Start at Chapter One
Someone grabbed Emma’s hand and jerked her through the crowd. She panicked for a moment, fearing it would be Monique, come to find her. But there was a break in the throngs, and the person whose hand surrounded hers turned to face her and smiled.
“I thought that was you beneath all that black eyeliner,” he said with a grin.
“Benjamin Stillwell,” Emma said, shocked, and not a little relieved. “Of the Alpine Heights Stillwells. What are you doing here?”
He laughed in answer and shook a scolding finger. “What are you doing here, Emma Harris of the River Bottoms Harrises? My father works with Mr. Winters, and our families are old friends. You’re the one who appears to be out of place.”
She nodded and found herself telling the truth. “Cara only invited me because her mother told her she had to. She was pretty unhappy about it, actually. She doesn’t like me.”
He rolled his eyes, and Emma felt a thrill of relief that he shared her annoyance over Cara’s assertions. “She’s intimidated by you because you’re so beautiful. She and her friends aren’t used to having competition.”
Emma smiled softly, cocking her head to the side. “You think I’m beautiful?”
He seemed surprised. “Of course, I do! I mean, I thought you were beautiful at the party last night. You don’t look like yourself tonight.” He winked when she blushed in embarrassment.
“Yeah, I let Cara’s friends dress me.”
Benjamin grinned. “They’re silly girls. You were the most beautiful girl in the room last night.” He glanced around and then said, “Look around you, Emma. Every man in the room thinks you’re the most beautiful girl here.” She glanced around as she had been instructed. Many of the boys in the room were staring at her, but people always stared at her.
“They watch me because I’m so awkward,” she answered, shaking off his compliment.
He shook his head at her, mock seriousness on his face. “Not true. That’s not the way it works. When girls are awkward, guys avoid looking at them. When they’re beautiful, guys stare. True, they probably all want to get in your pants, but it’s still a little flattering, right?”
Emma stared up at him, unsure. “Is that why you’re talking to me? To get into my pants?” When he laughed heartily at that, she asked, “No? Just being nice?”
He gave her a sly grin. “Seventy percent nice thing; twenty percent pants.”
She scowled. “You’re missing ten percent.”
He gave her an innocent shrug. “So, I’m ten percent a mystery.”
Then he looked around the room. He had an advantage of height she didn’t have; he could see over the tops of people’s heads. To her it was like a maze of endless bodies all around her. He began pulling her after him and, not knowing where else she would go, she chose to follow him.
“Do you want something to drink? The kitchen is this way.” He indicated with his hand toward a congregation of people.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to drink anything here. I can smell alcohol.”
Benjamin laughed again. “Come on, Emma! You can open your own drink, so you know no one tampered with it.” Emma mused it was probably too late to worry that Monique had told her to stay away from Benjamin. She had already lied to Monique and disobeyed her. Besides, she liked to be around Benjamin. He treated her like a regular person.
The crowd parted around Benjamin, and Emma was uncomfortably aware of the eyes of the people on her. He had been right that they stared at her. She tried to imagine them in the way he had instructed her—as admirers—but it was hard when for so long she had assumed everyone watched her because she was a weirdo.
In the kitchen, Emma opened a can of soda. She had never had soda before, so her first swallow made her nose tingle and caused her to choke. Benjamin laughed at her as she tried to recover. She did her best not to acknowledge his laughter, but she put the soda down with every intention of not picking it up again. She grabbed a bottled water instead because she knew that would be safe. It tasted strongly of minerals but was a vast improvement on the soda.
“You’re really kind of peculiar, Emma,” Benjamin said with a smile to take any sting out of the words. He tapped his soda can against Emma’s water bottle and said, “Cheers!” She smiled in response.
“Is this what all birthday parties are like?” She watched some boys push and shove at each other on the other side of the kitchen bar, in a way that may or may not have been playful.
“Not really. Usually there is some structure and perhaps a theme. But the Winters like to push the boundaries of popular society. They throw a shindig on the slightest provocation. It usually involves more people than fire codes allow, loud music, and an open bar.”
Emma was confused. She thought most kids at her school, or their parents at least, were religious, and that this kind of party was a violation of their beliefs about social conduct. In the school cafeteria, she had heard kids talking about the evils of caffeinated beverages. Wasn’t beer even worse? Leader thought it was. To her knowledge, the only time anyone in the Family had a drink was at a social function where they were trying to blend in and be polite. But even at the party last night Monique had not touched her wine; it was not healthy for the body.
“I know,” Benjamin whispered near her ear. “It is a little hypocritical to profess to be one thing and behave differently.” She glanced up at him in alarm, and he grinned. “We all have our faults.” She smiled. It was eerie how well he could determine her thoughts. She wondered if her expression gave her away. Benjamin was a closed book on that score.
“I just thought it was a little strange that there is such a good turnout. My father doesn’t even allow us near alcohol.” She looked around again, this time spotting Brinley leaning against a young man in what was probably supposed to be a dance, but it looked as if they needed to be alone for what they were doing. “He would be horrified if I was dancing like that or doing ... basically anything that people are doing here.”
Benjamin took her hand and lead her through the crowd once more. He had to shout to be heard while saying, “So, what you are telling me is that your father does not know you are here.”
She was startled by that, and her face gave away her guilt. He laughed. “It’s fine. Most of the kids here did not have permission to come. And the few who did probably have parents who do not know what kind of party it is. If you look around, you can even identify the kids who did not know what they were getting themselves into. You can watch their internal struggle with right and wrong; it’s all over their faces.” He laughed again. “That’s my favorite pastime at parties.”
She allowed herself to be pulled along, smiling. He led her into the colossal living room where presents were on a decorated table. She swallowed because she had never even thought about bringing a gift. Benjamin saw her unease again and put it to rest.
“Forget about it, Emma. You were a pity invite, and anything you would have given her would have been donated to Charity Industries, anyway. She most likely won’t even open them. The ‘help’ will do that.”
Emma wondered what it would be like to think so highly of yourself that you did not even bother to open your own gifts. On second thought, she wondered what it would be like to get gifts at all. She did not remember anything that was given to her unless she needed it for a mission, even her clothes. She and the rest of her Family were restricted from accepting gifts.
The two of them settled on an empty space on a couch and began making comments and observations about the people around them. When Cara finally made it downstairs, there was cheering and wolf-whistles. Emma had to admit she looked fabulous. Her dress was different than the barely-there tight one she had been wearing upstairs. It was green and flowing, and modest in comparison to what many of the girls were wearing. The most prominent part of her outfit was the tiara she wore, set with stones that looked like diamonds and emeralds. They probably weren’t actual gemstones or the tiara would be in a vault somewhere.
Once Cara joined the party, it seemed to revolve around her and gained a little more structure. Her parents toasted her 15-year-old soul, and her father invited young men to dance with her, if they could be gentlemen. She was absolutely glowing when a boy asked her to dance and the music changed from the penetrating rock to something soft and slow.
Emma settled back, content to watch rather than participate. She imagined what it might be like to be some man’s daughter and have him kiss her on the head the way Cara’s father did. And have him throw her a giant birthday bash. And make her into a spectacle in front of the whole school, in a good way. She imagined, but her level of imagination was thwarted by the idea that Leader and Monique did not care about her enough to even acknowledge her on her birthday.
“My parents forgot to pick me up from school today,” Emma quietly admitted to Benjamin beside her. He turned from people-watching and gave her a concerned look. “Yeah. They forgot about me. I sat on the steps for two hours, and then the nosey school counselor made me wait in the office. She called my father in Vermont, and he had to get ahold of my mother. She picked me up after 5.”
“Jesus, Emma! That’s ridiculous. How did they forget about you? Don’t you have brothers that go to your school?”
“They were not at school today.” She shrugged. It was strange how much being left at school affected her. She had been neither surprised nor dismayed about it at the time. It was just watching Cara with her family made her jealous. She was jealous of Cara’s right to feel important. Emma had no right to feel important; her family was set up as a chain of command, in which she was positioned at the bottom. She would never be able to feel important or like she was special. Even if Leader threw her a party, it would only be a part of some scheme or mission and not about Emma at all. Emma wanted something to be about her.
“I’m sorry, Emma,” Benjamin said, and he sounded empathetic. “I know how you feel. I can’t tell you how many times I was forgotten or left behind.”
“Yeah,” she said, softening. “You said they left you at a party one time.”
He scoffed. “They lost me at Disneyland and were not even concerned. I was picked up by Social Services.”
Emma let out a long breath. “That is outrageous,” she said, but she whispered it, shocked as she was that anyone could be so thoughtless.
“No more outrageous than your mother forgetting to pick you up from school for two and a half hours,” he replied, tone tinged with anger. “It is infuriating because it is like they do not even think about you. Like somehow you’re an afterthought.”
Emma nodded, amazed at the accuracy of his words to describe her emotions. “That’s it exactly.” She looked away. She felt a sting in her throat and eyes. She could count on one hand the amount of times she had cried in the last five years. She could not believe this was bringing tears to her eyes.
“Hey,” Benjamin whispered. He pulled her face around with two gentle fingers and looked her in the eye. Then he hugged her. “It’s okay. They are assholes.”
Emma remembered Amos hugging her, comforting her once. He had come upon her when she had failed to advance a belt in her martial arts training in what was considered a reasonable amount of time. Leader had watched her perform for all of five minutes before he declared “fail.” He had said it to Monique, but Emma felt the full sting of the failure. And then when Leader had left the room, Monique gave her a ferocious reprimand and left her in tears. When Amos came in, there was nothing he could say to contradict Monique’s disdain, but he had embraced Emma. He held her in his arms until her tears dried and her determination returned. That was the only time she remembered a hug that was not just for show. Emma allowed Benjamin to hug her.
After she recovered and apologized for crying—to which he responded severely that she need not apologize—they talked about mutual experiences. They shared stories about school and difficulty making friends. She talked about moving to Utah, although she avoided saying anything about where they came from as it was “forbidden conversation” outside the Family. They laughed together about living up to parental expectations and her difficulty with siblings. For the first time in her life, she felt like a regular kid having a regular conversation.
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